The Death of Another Lightwood
by Lindsey7618
Summary: "Alec," Jace whispered, and even though Magnus couldn't hear him, he could read his lips perfectly well./ "Izzy," Magnus saw Alec whisper./ He looked over at Alec and Isabelle again, only to find Isabelle alone, her gorgeous face covered with despair./ "But I do," Alec interrupted. "I love you."/ "I love you too."/ Once Alec walked into that battle, he might never come back.


**Hey guys! This is a one shot I wrote a long time ago. We were at the local park- my mom had forced me to go- and I, bored, planned on writing this, so, naturally, my mother had plans for me to watch my ignorant brothers while she called our aunt back in peace. So I sat down at the end on the black plastic thingy- the thing around the playground?- and "watched"- meaning ignored for the most part- my brothers, and began writing this.**

 **It took a long time, and I had to edit it here, but...here it is!**

 **Please don't kill me. You will cry.**

 **Max's Death (I know, original title, right?!):**

 **UPDATE: I've changed the title, obviously. TDoAL just sounded better. And it was more likely to catch people's eyes.**

 **UPDATE: I meant to post this a year ago..heh...sorry?**

Magnus eyes quickly searched around for Alec, and once they found him, he sucked in a breath. The younger boy looked so heartbroken.

Magnus heard Izzy call out for her older brother, and, as if by instinct, like he could hear her- though that was impossible, with everything going on- he locked eyes with her.

Instantly he was by his sisters side, hugging her tight, and Isabelle began sobbing against his shoulders, clutching him.

"Izzy," Magnus saw Alec whisper.

Magnus looked around for Jace. He found him, leaning against a pillar, looking indifferent, but Magnus knew he felt broken inside, knew he felt the pain worse then anything else, even through the arrogant mask he put on. (Well, when it wasn't a mask and he wasn't honestly being rude, at least.)

Suddenly, like he knew he was aware he was being watched, Jace looked up at him.

"Alec," Jace whispered, and even though Magnus couldn't hear him, he could read his lips perfectly well. He knew what Jace was asking.

He looked over at Alec and Isabelle again, only to find Isabelle alone, her gorgeous face covered with despair. He didn't want to leave her alone, but Jace was here, too, and besides, Alec needed him.

Alec was trying to pull his mother away from Jia, who looked very taken back, because Maryse was shouting continuously at her. Finally she stopped and threw her arms around Alec, sobbing. Alec looked surprised, but hugged her nonetheless. Magnus felt incredibly sorry for her. Maryse never cried, and unless you knew her, you might think she was a heartless mother who cared more about her family's position then her actual family, but Magnus, having known her from years back, knew better.

He didn't think he could hate Sebastian more right now.

* * *

Alec ran as fast as he could, not even knowing where he was going. He just needed to get away. Max...his little brother...

Why did this have to happen to him? And Isabelle...she had locked herself in her room, crying, and refusing to come out, and no matter how many times Alec or Jace said it wasn't her fault, she refused to believe that.

It was darker out now, and all Alec wanted to do was curl up and sleep forever. Escape the world, his problems. But the battle, Magnus, and his siblings made him he thought he heard movement, and flung around. Nothing. Cautiously he sat down.

"Alec." It was a whisper in the dark light, but he knew who it was.

"Alec," Magnus repeated softly. Alec shook his head, and heard Magnus kneel down besides him. "I'd say I'm sorry, but I know it won't help."

"It was my fault," Alec whispered numbly. "It was _all my fault."_

"No," Magnus said, "it wasn't. How could you have known?"

Alec turned to glare at him. "Because! I'm the oldest!" he shouted. "I'm supposed to- I should have been there, I shouldn't have left!"

His voice quieted. "It was my fault."

Magnus reached out and out his arms around him. Alec stiffened at first, then relaxed slightly into his touch.

"Like you told Isabelle, it wasn't anyone's fault but Sebastian's."

Alec didn't ask how he knew that, that that was what he told Izzy.

"It WAS! I should have protected him, I should have known that since everyone was focused on us older shadowhunters he would go for Max! I should have realized that!"

Alec tried to push him away, but Magnus only held on tighter.

"Let me go. Magnus, let go of me!" He managed to push him away and stood up.

"You don't have any siblings, you don't know what it's like to lose someone like that, you don't-!"

He broke off, turning away, one hand covering his mouth as he realized what he had just said, and Magnus felt like he had been slapped.

"Of _course_ I don't know what it's like to lose someone important, it's not like I'm immortal, have lived for hundreds of years, lost thousands of people." He tried to make himself stop, knowing Alec didn't mean a word of it, but couldn't.

"Oh yes, Will, and Woolsey, they never died!" Magnus said, voice dripping with venomous sarcasm.

Slowly Alerc sank down to the ground. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean any of it. I'm so, so sorry."

Magnus felt his anger- or bitterness, more like it- melt away as the fight in Alec dissolved. "I know," he said gently, hugging Alec once more. "I'm sorry for my outburst."

"Why are you still here? That was horrible, what I said," Alec asked, and couldn't keep the guilt out of his voice.

"Because I know you didn't mean it and I know that you're sorry," Magnus answered.

"I'm sorry," Alec whispered again.

"I know."

Magnus felt Alec go limp against him and knew what was coming. He could feel the wet tears on his shirt as Alec tried to control his breathing.

"Just let go. It's only me here. You can let yourself be in pain," Magnus whispered.

Alec couldn't answer, he was crying too hard.

Magnus just held him. When Alec calmed down a little, a good fifteen minutes later, Magnus kissed his forehead.

"It's okay," he said.

"I'm sorry," Alec said for the hundredth time, looking embarrassed. "It's just- I-"

"Don't apologize, Alec, not for feeling," Magnus said, his eyes full of sadness for Alec.

"But-"

"No. It's okay."

Alec sighed. "I'm a shadowhunter, crying is- is-"

"Maryse cried, Isabelle cried, Jace was crying on the inside, and I saw Jia shed a few tears too, even. Clary, too."

Alec hung his head. Magnus took hold of his chin, forcing him to look up.

"Don't, Alexander," he said softly, "don't turn away from me."

He leaned forward and kissed Alec gently.

"Max didn't deserve this," Alec said when they pulled away.

"No, he didn't. But it still happened. The best you can do is keep his memories alive. Never stop loving him."

"Like I would," Alec said instantly, sounding indignant. "I'll always love Max."

"I know." Magnus smiled sadly.

Several minutes passed in silence.

"Magnus?" Alec suddenly asked.

"Yeah?"

"I- I love you," Alec whispered.

Magnus froze. "You what?"

"I...I..."

"It's okay, I know you didn't mean it-"

"But I do," Alec interrupted. "I love you."

Magnus was silent.

"Magnus?"

He realized if he didn't tell Alec, he would shut himself away, become even more insecure. He didn't want Alec to do that.

He didn't want Alec to become himself.

"I love you too," he finally said.

"Really?" Alec didn't look convinced.

"Yes. I...didn't want to tell you because I didn't think you felt the same way. I didn't want to burden you with feelings you might not return."

"Oh." Alec didn't say anything.

Slowly his breathing became quieter and slower as he leaned into Magnus's touch.

Magnus soon realized he fell asleep, and carefully stood up, picking Alec up. He began walking back to where the battle would take place, relishing in this quiet, calming time he had with Alec, knowing that his life was at great risk. He had to protect Alec at all costs. In his sleep Alec stirred. His eyes opened a little.

"Mag...nus?'

"Shhh...just sleep. I'm not going to hurt you," Magnus said, joking.

"I know..."

Alec set his arms around Magnus's neck and held on, burying his head in his shoulder. Magnus was very surprised. He couldn't believe how comfortable Alec was with him, how he trusted him to carry him, keep him safe...

He kissed Alec gently. "I love you," he said, smiling.

As if he heard him, Alec smiled in his sleep, the unspoken answer on his face-

 _I love you too._

He stared down at Alec, trying to erase the thought that would not leave his mind as he thought of the upcoming battle.

Once Alec walked into that battle, he might never come back.

 **Please review. PLEASE.**

 **Honestly, I really have nothing more to say then-**

 **I'm sorry.**

 **~Lindsey.**

 **P.S. Despite how much it seems I hate you all for writing these- which is so not my fault, by the way, I blame Cassie for my obsession for angst/tragedy/ and hurt/comfort/romance stories- I really do love you guys!**

 **P.P.S. I'm sorry for how many times someone whispered...eight times, to be exact.**

 **P.P.P.S. The line, "It's just me here. You can let yourself be in pain," was from Divergent by Veronica Ross. It was a quote from Tobias to Tris, which only made me cry harder and hate Peter even more. (If you're a Divergent fan, you know exactly what I mean, that scene...hey, that rhymed...)**

 **I couldn't decide whether to end this with: "** _ **I love you too."**_ **or** _**"Once Alec walked into that battle, he might never come back," sooo...**_


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